i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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