Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
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Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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