During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
