Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize