We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm experimenting with sincerity
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
