Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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