It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
