So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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