Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
