is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
