i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize