You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
