I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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