IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
