I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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