saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
