If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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