I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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