well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
