Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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