hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
