the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
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