Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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