I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
