Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
