We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
