I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
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i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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