I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just blew my weed a kiss
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
