8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
