Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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