Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize