return my video game
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
