you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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