i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
