we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
