He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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