And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
