I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize