New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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