He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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