Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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