I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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