Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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