Apparently you make a good broom.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
