My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
