So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
