And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
