Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
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I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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