And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
