Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
