It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
