As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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