Sponge bath it is.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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