He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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