I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize