Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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