how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
