Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you never un-have a 4some
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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