He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
