so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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