My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
