I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
