he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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