eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
