If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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