Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
