real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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