Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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