so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
