Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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