i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
please don't ironically join a cult
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