if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
well you can't waste a boner
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
